Yes, I’m still alive. Life has been busy, but that’s honestly not that great of an excuse. I was very busy while I completed my “one thing a week challenge”, but I was motivated and excited. I realized that as I set up my next goal, I unknowingly stole all the joy of sewing from sewing. I had turned it into a chore. So there I sat in the sewing room with my list of assignments rather than my imagination being my guide. My wardrobe holes ruled the room and joy slowly slipped away. I also had several projects that were total failures, that also started to suck away joy.
I realized the error of my ways, but I had lost my momentum. It’s taken a few weeks to get that back up and running, but I think I’m ready to get making again.
What have I been doing if I wasn’t sewing? A lot of reading. I’ve been consuming books at a rapid rate and loving it. After years of having kids home 100% of the time and not finding time to read, I was finally able to bring reading back into the mix.
I recently finished Jen Hatmaker’s book, Of Mess and Moxie. She addressed my problem perfectly and I’d love to share her words with you. She wrote an entire chapter on this topic titled, “Makers and Dreamers”.
“So let’s start there: you are worthy and capable of creating. Full stop. Making art or literature or music isn’t reserved for the elite. We are all seeded with creative gifts and the corresponding urges to bring them forth. I know that craving so well; it feels like a balloon expanding in my chest, filled with words, filled with ideas, filled with longing. For me, there is no relief from the pressure except to write. The exchange between creativity and expression is incredible fulfilling, even if not one other eye ever reads those words. There is something courageous about acknowledging your ability and right to create, even in the midst of “a real job” or mothering or managing. Women have the innate capacity to nurture their own art without a paycheck, audience, outside permission or charitable intentions. Do you understand what I mean by charity? You are not required to save the world, or anyone for that matter, with your art. It isn’t valuable only if it rescues or raises money or makes an enormous impact. It can be simply for the love of it. That is not frivolous or selfish in the slightest. If the only person it saves is you, that’s enough.”
And there it is my friends, “If the only person it saves is you, that’s enough.” I started sewing not to save the world, to cut down on fast fashion or to prevent pollution. Those are amazing things that we should aspire to do, but I started sewing to save my sanity and my mind. My art is to save and preserve me. Creativity and whimsy must rule the sewing room in my house and practicality must be checked at the door. It is my safe room to call forth all the parts of myself I let go dormant in the journey of motherhood and life. When I finish writing this blog I will walk back into the sewing room and sew something just because I want to. I’ll learn new things about construction and I’ll either have a new garment for my wardrobe at the end or not, but the process will be led by inspiration because the purpose is restoration.
I’m 3/4 of the way done with this dress and it’s going in the scrap pile. I don’t like it and I’ve tried to save it by ripping it apart and making changes, but I’m forcing something that isn’t working. I’m giving myself permission to move on to the next project and accept that the best I got from this make was a few lessons.
I don’t love the middle section of the dress. It feels frumpy and I just can’t love it.
I know some people will think it looks fine, but the pictures just don’t capture how it moves. I didn’t bother to take professional photos or even put on makeup. I wanted to share it and move on.
Next week I’ll share this make with you.
I’m making D, just because I want to. Lol!